November 26, 2008

In which I quote lots of songs, because other people can say it better than I can.  Take Fugazi: “I am a patient boy, I wait I wait I wait I wait”.  Switch the gender and that’s me.  I’m patient like a coiled tiger is patient, keeping still only until I get the opportunity to cut and run.  To borrow a phrase from the lovely and inimitable Jett, I want things to happen rightthisveryNOW.  I’m not asking for the world on a plate.  I’d just like some indication that I’m getting somewhere.  That what I’m doing contributes somehow to the course of my life.

I’ve had a verse from Keane’s “Perfect Symmetry” rattling around in my head for a day or two.  It goes,

“And maybe you’ll find

life is unkind and over so soon

there is no golden gate

there’s no heaven waiting for you”

It’s not slamming into the void after I’ve snuffed it that troubles me.  It’s not having anything to show for the years of existence.  Right now it stands at going to school and writing papers, with dabblings in other things here and there.  Not the slightest blip on the cosmic radar screen.  I really hate the feeling of running in place.  I’m not a car with its engine lazily idling.

Or maybe I am.  Now that I’ve said this, I bet someone will come along and secretly attach some rocket boosters.  Four thousand things will happen at once, and I’ll be wishing to stall out again.  I’ll just have to be truly patient.  Wait for life to work its tricks.  At least I have good music to fight the silence.


One comment

  1. Time is relative. If you’re with the one you love, it flies. If you wait to meet with the one you love, it crawls on the ground, like a sick snail… I think it’s all about perception. To wait is not a good thing, though. Occupying yourself instead of waiting is. Listening to music always does the trick for me. :o)
    But don’t worry, time will come anyway, no matter what. And go by. With rocket boosters. :o)

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