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Surface Calm

October 14, 2008

I have a self-destructive streak a mile wide.  I will stand there and refuse to do something, even if it hurts me, just because I’ve decided it’s something I don’t want to do.  I will probably die having been run over by a car because I forgot to look before I walked across the street.  The best part is, I don’t even care.

This is why I shouldn’t have lots of caffeine and stay up until 2 in the morning.  Because even I know that kind of thinking is crazy.  Then I have to stay up even longer listening to max volume combinations of Green Day and My Chemical Romance until I calm down.  I can  blame it on the midterms, the general craziness, the flavor of the week.  The truth is I don’t really know where that impulse comes from.  As long as the music helps me keep it caged, I’ll be alright.

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